was asked to write a some what regular column for this site by
the webmaster Hesuggested we call it the Wisdom of Christopher
Patrick. A.) Because my name is Christopher
Patrick. And B.) Because he seems to think I have wisdom. I agreed
todo it as long as wisdom was spelled wrong. Call it keeping my
ego in check, call it wanting people to think I am stupid, call
it what you will. But the real reason is so I don't get email's
from a the tens of people who read this site telling me how stupid
I am for thinking I am so smart. Which I don't. Some other people
do, and it is for that reason I agreed to do this column. So I
can prove to them just how wrong they are.
what will this column be about?
thought you would never ask. And I know you didn't but I am going
to tell you anyway. It's all about me. That's right. Me. You don't
know me, and you probably don't care to know me, but I don't care.
All I care about is spreading my truly worthless message to as
many people as I can.
what is that message?
I know you didn't ask that either. My message is the message of
peace, love, understanding, and how I am fed up with all those
understand that from time to time I may actually sound like I
peace and love and understanding, but I assure you this is probably
not the case. If you look deeper you will usually find a message
about how I should be rich, orfamous, or how rich and famous people
should die. Not particularly HOW they should die, that's just
the icing on the boob. But that they should just die. Not all
of them, just the ones I want to.
if the column is about you then why don't you tell us something
I will, but seriously I am getting tired of all the damn questions.
This is my column damnit, not yours!
was born Christopher Ereck Patrick. It was 1979, the year of the
Cockroach. My parents thought it would be funny if I had three
first names. Ha, good one pops. I was born in Arvada, a suburb
of Denver. A small town in it's own right but part of a major
metropolis. Colorado is an all right place to live. If you like
cold weather and skiing. Which I do not like either of. My parents
on the other hand love it. Mom was a professional skier and my
dad a Ski Instructor. It's tough growing up on the slopes when
all you want is for all the snow to melt so you can light a match
and burn the mountain down.
for what I do now, I ride bikes. Mountain Bikes. I'm the CO-owner
of the thirdlargest Mountain Bike store in the Denver area. And
trust me, their are a lot of Mountain Bike shops in this part
of the country. In my free time I like to surf theweb, read books,
watch movies and play Bass Guitar in a band that sucks so bad
that if we were made of cheese rats wouldn't nibble on our asses
to save our lives.
that's about it for me. If you want to know anymore about me you
can always e-mail me at the lovely address they have set up for
me here. email@example.com
my next column I will start to spread my gooey wizdumb amongst
you. Tell your friends I'm coming, and be prepared for what lays
ahead. There may be mounds to climb and crevasses to slip through.
But when all is said and done I hope to leave you satisfied.
Strangely enough I feel horny now. See you next